Swift boat veterans for truth in music taste

In a press conference today, John O'Neill, the leader of the group, Swift Boat Veterans For Truth, announced a new book, “Unfit for Command II: Swift Boat Veterans Speak Out Against John Kerry's Personal Tastes”

“John Kerry claimed in 2003 that his favorite album was the Beatles' Abbey Road. In fact, his favorite album is “Plastic Ono Band”. And I'm not talking about the ground-breaking, awesome John Lennon album, I'm talking about Yoko Ono's version released at the same time. I heard him play it all the time on the swift boat, though he always seemed to want to get to the Yokoist parts of it quickly. He couldn't get enough of her screechy voice. The image of him grooving to her wailing on that record still haunts me to this day.
I'm not here because I'm a Republican donor hand-picked by Richard Nixon: I'm non-partisan. I just believe that America deserves to know the truth - that John Kerry is a dirty liar. He claims to like the Beatles' Abbey Road, when the secret he hides is that he really has a thing for Yoko Ono. Doesn't America deserve to know the truth of this? Huh Kerry? Or does the truth hurt too much?”

When reached for a reply a spokesperson for the Kerry campaign said,

“A) this is stupid B) Plastic Ono Band (either version) came out in 1970, Kerry was back in the U.S. by then, C) John O'Neill did not serve on Kerry's swift boat until after Kerry left D) I heard him playing it [Abbey Road] yesterday, he was really into it. Now let's focus on the important issues like how...”

The reporter found the rest boring so he didn't bother to listen.

At a stump speech in Pennsylvania in front of a crowd of average undecided Americans who signed the mandatory loyalty and fealty oaths to George W Bush, when asked about this Bush replied, “"I have a deep respect in John Kerry claiming to like Abbey Road and have nothing to do with this (wink wink)”" A moment later after aides whispered to him he was heard to say, "“What do you mean 'I said wink wink out loud'?”"

Later that day in response to the Kerry camp's rebuttal, O'Neill released a statement saying
“"Kerry also claims to like puppies, when in fact he kicks them! Doesn't America deserve to know the truth?”"

In related news, Robert Novak is demanding a White House investigation into whether or not John Kerry owns a well-worn copy of the Yoko Ono version of Plastic Ono Band through John Ashcroft's newly minted “Freedom of Personal Invasion Act.”

Note: I'm not serious. As a matter of a fact, I rather like Yoko as a person even if her music isn't my cup of tea. John Lennon madly loved her, and that's good enough for me.